Fear is a physiological phenomenon that let's you realize what's important to you. - JCM (Me)
As I am writing this FIRST post, I cannot help feeling butterflies within me. *Gah!* This is certainly a lot of pressure! What if I go wrong? What if I screw up? What if I don't get to cause the positive impact that I'm hoping for? These are all questions that usually circle my mind just before I commit to something that matters to me.
Of course, I don't always say... "whatever, I'll just do it". No, I'm human... like you. I make mistakes, I fall on my face, I get back up again, fall yet again, stand up yet AGAIN, wave the dirt off my shirt and get back on the horse!
All kidding aside, I guess the first thing I want to talk about is... taking risks. THIS is already taking a risk... for me at least. I'm usually the kind of person who is always up for a good talk, or who will genuinely sit down with you to help you get your act together, or at least get your ideas straight. However, I'm rarely the kind of guy who gets up and says: "Hey world! I have something to say! Listen to me!".
Why not say it?
Well, I'm not ugly if that's what you are thinking (I don't think I am anyway), I'm not bad with words either, and I don't usually have that many problems getting my point across. However, and this is important, my problem is I kinda fear getting too much attention. I fear responsibility in general. Dear me!
Why do I fear this? Well, because if I go wrong... (and these are the thoughts that pass through my mind) then people won't be able to grasp the idea behind my message, or maybe stop listening to me, or maybe I will even let other people down. And while I am thinking and obsessing about how I will perform, the message is still NOT out there. What I have to offer, is still not being offered at all. Fair to the world... I don't think so!
So then the question that naturally comes to my mind is: "what's worse JC... not doing anything and achieving nothing, or doing something and not doing it perfectly?"
A long time ago, this question would have been impossible to answer for me. Now; experience, mentors and friends have helped me realize that the answer can be pretty simple. It all goes down to this: How would you feel after either one of the proposed events? Will you feel more of a failure for not taking the risk, or for taking the risk and failing?
Life has taught me and still teaches me that I feel much worse when NOT taking the risk at all, but hey, that's just me. Why do I feel worse? Well, simply put..., because not doing anything gives me the necessary evidence to think of myself as a failure, to vouch for my inability to commit to anything, etc. Whereas, when I DO do something, when I DO take a risk, I may fail... I may fail terribly in fact; but at least I tried, right? I can get laughed at, hated or whatever, but in the end, if I did it, then that's that.
Proof? Ha! You are definitely hard to please! Fine, I'll give you proof!
Well digging up a few "stories of my life"; here's
- Taking a risk and failing; that would be: Entering in a short-story writing contest and not winning. Did I feel terrible? Did I feel I was a failure? To be honest not really. I just felt... "well, I didn't win. Better luck next time."
- Not taking a risk and not failing; that would be: Not going to the Chinese Embassy in my country before going to China, because I feared rejection; and then learning how much money I could have saved in a scholarship if I had at least gone to the Chinese Embassy for a talk. Ridiculous!
- Another risk I've taken is saying "I like you" or "I want to be with you" with some girls in my life; my fears were: "I'll get rejected", "she'll treat me like a stranger", "she'll make fun of me", etc. What happened afterwards was: good friends, a best bud, an amazing ex and a completely different situation than I would have expected.
So you see there are three possibilities. You either: (1) do something and succeed, (2) do something and fail, or (3) don't do anything and be mediocre. That simple. From my experience... (1) Is awesome! (2) Is not that bad. (3) Is mental HELL!
And before we go anywhere... STOP right there!!!
We've reached a point, where we need to clarify an important thing! Even the most experienced gurus keep returning to "3", even the greatest most wisest men and women, sometimes give in to "3". And it is not because they are secretly stupid, or because this is bullocks, or because it is impossible not to do otherwise, but because it is normal and okay, to sometimes give in to our flaws or our bad habits, etc. No one told you... YOU MUST LIVE IN (1) AND (2)!! It definitely gives you lots of benefits, alright, but it is NOT the right thing. It is the most beneficial route in any case! However, we (including me), sometimes let fear get the best of ourselves (myself) and it sure gets the best of me, because I later feel like crap. But that's when one of the most important characteristics of life comes in. There is always a SECOND CHANCE.
Second chance? Yes, second chance.
Geez, I should have told that girl I liked her. Too late. (STOP!) Are you dead? Are you mute? Are you invisible? If not, then you always have a choice. Fine, you let the opportunity slip away, the next second, minute, hour, etc, is your second chance. If you already chose (3), then you know what it feels to not do what your heart tells you to do. But if you realize this, then be aware that choosing (3) is a choice that we make every second of our lives, if we choose to. I say this, because NOW you can choose to do something different. Choosing to take a risk IS a risk, because you will never know what you will get until the end. The thing is: you already know what you'll get if you don't take a risk. What is worse? The possibility of the emotional cost of (2) or the lack of possibility of the emotional reward of (1)? Because if you don't choose to take a risk, you are not only missing out on the emotional cost of (2), you are also missing out the chance of being successful, AND instead you are getting the emotional cost of (3), which I can tell you (and I have told you already) is HELL!!
So, summarizing this first post:
- We always have a choice.
- Every second IS still a choice.
- Taking a risk has two possibilities: succeeding or failing.
- To the best of my knowledge, not taking a risk has one possibility: feeling like a failure.
- Even if right now, at 6:12pm I choose to not take a risk about something I care about, I can still take that risk at 6:13pm, 6:14pm. It is a matter of choice (second-chance). However if you choose to not take a risk indefinitely... that is pretty much... horrible, right?
- Doing something and succeeding, feels GREAT!
- Doing something and failing, feels kinda bad, sad, etc.
- Not doing anything and never knowing... that's just mental hellfire!!
That's my two cents for today!!
Cheers! And again, I just want to say that I, Juan Carlos Manning, am not the owner of the truth. I just speak based on my own experiences, on all that I've learned in my life, and I am as much entitled to make a mistake, as anyone else is! In fact, making a mistake, helps me decide what to do next to succeed!
If you have complementary information; a view of things that can help other people as well, then PLEASE share it with us in the comments section! Not only does it help other people, it also helps me learn more, re-learn, confirm and compare beliefs! Thanks! *No hate comments. No spam. No ill-intentioned comments.*
